The Good Husband Quiz

Okay to see if you have been paying attention, here is a simple one-question quiz:

1. Your wife is a nursing student and just spent her Saturday at the hospital assisting in breast cancer screenings. She is on her way home and calls you to tell you about her day. Here is a list of possible responses. Please choose the best one:

a. Wow, so you have been looking at breasts all day? You are so lucky!!! Did you see any good ones?

b. Are you bringing me home any pictures?

c. That sounds interesting. Hurry up and get home so that you can get dinner started. The kids and I are starving.

d. That sounds very interesting. Tell me what you want for dinner and I will have it ready by the time you get home.

e. That sounds very interesting. I just got done fixing the (insert name of complex home appliance here. For example, lawn mower, hot water heater, etc.) myself. Well hurry up and get home so that we can figure out what we are going to do for dinner.

The Correct Answer: e

a. Most wives don’t understand men’s feelings about breasts. This also may lead here to believe that you are not taking her seriously. So although you are showing an interest in her day in accordance with Good Husband Tip #2, this may not be the most appropriate way of expressing that interest.

b. Again, you are showing an interest in her day but this is not an appropriate way of expressing that interest. If you do make this error, do NOT compound the problem by telling her that you were just offering to give her your second opinion as a breast expert. Unless you really are a medical professional, she will just think you are not taking her seriously.

c. A couple things wrong with this answer. First, not enough interest in her day. Second, this is not good time to tell her you expect her to cook dinner since she will spend the rest of the car ride home thinking about what a lazy jerk you are. Third, it makes her wonder what you have been doing all day if the kids haven’t been fed in a while.

d. Com’on, this is NOT the “Whipped Husband Quiz”!!!!

e. Appropriate level of interest in her day. Makes her think that you were doing something and not being lazy all day. “Figure out what to do for dinner” is vague enough that she doesn’t automatically think that you expect her to fix dinner as soon as she hits the door. The perfect answer.

Well how did you do? Maybe you need to refresh you memory by rereading THE GOOD HUSBAND’S GUIDE by clicking here.

Random Notes

1. I got new glasses yesterday.




What do you think?



2. I finally finished the book "Pride & Prejudice" and did not understand a word of it. Now I really feel discouraged. Maybe I'll just go fishing.

Seriously though, it was great. It took me a while to read it for two reasons. First, I really am a naturally slow reader. I understand what I read but I just seem to take my time and enjoy whatever it is I am reading. It's been like that since I was a kid but somehow I manage. The second reason is that since I was already familiar with the story, the book became primarily a bathroom book for me. This frequently happens for me when I am re-reading a book or reading a book where I have already seen the movie.

But most importantly, the book was great and the last chapter of the book gives you a little taste of what happens after the main characters get married which does not happen in the mini-series. Two thumbs up!!!

But now I need a new book to read. Any suggestions?



3. The last two Saturdays, our neighbor, Carol, has taken Emily to our other neighbor, Mac Fulcher's football games. This time she even made Emily a little cheerleading outfit. Emily has had a ball both times with her "Aunt Carol" and now Kim has some cute pictures on her blog. Click here to view.

Thank you Carol for all that you do for me and my family!!!!!

The Good Husband’s Guide

Ever since I was a kid, there has been this “Good Wife’s Guide” out there that women share with each other to get themselves worked into a feminist frenzy about how bad they had it back in the 1950’s. When I first read the guide I was told that it was pulled out of a 1950’s era Home Economics textbook. It recently popped up again on my friend Kim’s blog and it says that it is from a magazine called “Housekeeping Monthly”.

Now I am not sure if this thing is a hoax or if it is real but in either case, the bottom line here is that all this thing is really saying is that a wife should be considerate of her husband. IS THAT SO BAD?!!! I think it must be pretty bad because women of today are conditioned to not feel it is necessary to be nice and/or considerate to their husbands. Think about it. You have mothers & fathers telling their daughters that any man would be lucky to have them. Every feminist schoolteacher and college professor telling women that marriage is akin to slavery. Then to top it off, you have woman’s magazines and TV shows like Oprah and Dr. Phil telling women that men should worship the ground that they walk on. I really can’t blame Oprah and Dr. Phil. A few years ago, Dr. Laura wrote a book suggesting that women be sensitive to the needs of their husbands and they rode her out of town on a rail. These days, husbands don’t stand a chance of getting a woman that has not been brainwashed into hating him.

Then, as if things weren’t bad enough, we have this 1950’s guide to contend with. It is not our fault that all men’s magazines have are cars, guns and/or naked women but no guides to being good husbands. It is also not our fault that our high school wood shop classes did not have a textbook to print a good husband’s guide. But every few years this guide rears its ugly head and the women of America get themselves whipped into a rip-roaring, man-hating feminist frenzy. As if any of the twenty, thirty and forty-something wives of today were ever given this guide and told to “learn it, love it, live it.”

But today is the day that this wrong will be righted. This is the day when I will publish The Good Husband’s Guide and pull this trump card out of the feminist deck of tricks. So ladies and gentleman, Adam’s Blog is proud to present:

THE GOOD HUSBAND’S GUIDE

So you’ve decided to get married. Every animal instinct in your male mammal body is telling you to spread your seed to any and all females that fall into your sphere of influence. You have risen above your animal instincts and have decided to get married and take a pledge before God that your seed was reserved for that one special woman for as long as you both shall live. Congratulations, here are a few tips to help you in your journey through wedded bliss:

Good Husband Tip #1: Always call before you arrive home each day.

This gives your wife a chance to get the boyfriend(s) out of the house, hide the overpriced things that she bought and maybe, just maybe, get the house straightened up a little before you get home (yeah, right).

Good Husband Tip #2: When your wife is telling you about her day, look interested.

Unlike men who would prefer to come home and have some quiet time to reflect on their day, women want to talk about their day. Not only that, but they want to feel that you are genuinely interested in what they did that day. So if you can fake that then it will make the rest of your evening much more pleasant.

Good Husband Tip #3: Never try and invoke Genesis 3:16

To the woman he said,

"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

This may have worked back in the 19th century but for today’s modern husbands, reading this passage from the bible to your wife to try and get your way is as fruitless as threatening to withhold sex. Although threatening to withhold sex can sometimes bring on a fit of cruel laughter from your wife which makes it all the more frustrating for the good husband.

Good Husband Tip #4: Speaking of sex, promising not to ask for sex does not count as a gift.

Husband: “Honey, this year for your birthday gift, I am not going to ask for sex for an entire week.”

Wife: “I already decided we were not going to have sex this week and that does NOT count as a present!!!”

Husband: “Yes it does because now you don’t have to feel bad about telling me ‘no’ when I ask for sex for an entire week. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!”

Wife: “No it doesn’t count because I never really feel bad about telling you ‘no’ to sex.”

Husband: “Yes, Dear.”

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Stay tuned to Adam's Blog for more Good Husband Tips.

The Hoobs

Just wanted to put up a quick post about a children's television show that my 4-year old and I have been enjoying for the past few weeks. It is called The Hoobs and it is a show made by The Jim Henson Company for the BBC and now can be seen every afternoon on PBS KIDS Sprout (channel 295 for those of us w/ Direct TV). If you are like me and very disappointed with the way that Sesame Street has evolved since I was a kid then you will be very happy that children of today have The Hoobs. It's is NOT the kind of show that you put on for your child and then run out of the room. It is the kind of show that children and adults can enjoy together. I highly recommend it for people that have kids of any age especially if you have a nostalgic fondness for the Muppets.